I HAVE been keen to visit some of our smaller local islands, especially Scilly and Lundy.

The challenge we face, despite Geraldine and I having visited many countries, is the mode of transport to these locations. She’s very happy in a big plane, especially when wine is served, and okay in a car but that’s about it.

So, small planes are not an option, especially after a trip from Southampton to Alderney, in a 14-seater of uncertain (but not recent) vintage, in the teeth of a gale. The fact we were sat behind the pilot and could see the runway as we came into land didn’t help.

Helicopters are a non-starter, under any circumstances. I didn’t help the cause by telling her about a chopper I was using in Mongolia, in a bitter winter, that refused to start for a while and even though all was fine eventually, it’s not on the list.

So, we are left with sea travel, which could be the obvious solution. Sadly, no. Things went wrong here many years ago, before we were married, when we came back to England for a holiday from South Africa.

Geraldine was a travel agent at this point and we got cheap tickets through a Belgian airline that flew us, not unreasonably, to Brussels. From here, a bus to Calais and then a hovercraft to Dover. A gale was blowing (seems to be a theme) and as it turned out we were the last vessel to make the crossing before they were suspended.

I thought we’d be fine as the hovercraft would surely skim over the waves. They don’t – they go up and down, up and down – a lot. Many people on board were ill, although Geraldine was okay, with eyes tight shut. It was a never again moment.

Teletransportation could be the answer!